George Lucas sold his Star Wars franchise and said he was moving into retirement to make hobby movies.
“I’m moving away from the company, I’m moving away from all my businesses, I’m finishing all my obligations and I’m going to retire to my garage with my saw and hammer and build hobby movies. I’ve always wanted to make movies that were more experimental in nature, and not have to worry about them showing in movie theatres.” (http://blogs.artinfo.com/cuttingroom/2012/10/31/what-does-the-future-hold-for-george-lucas/)
Now we know what "hobby movies" he plans to create.
This reporter has it on good authority that Lucas has struck a deal with MIKE TV to acquire the rights to the Indyslotcar Racing League and all previous media from the history of the league.
Lucas, who sold Star Wars for $4.05 billion, is reportedly to pay $40.05 dollars for the league and all the previous broadcasts of Indyslotcar, HO Champ Car, PPPG, and all other monikers of the league over the last 20 years. When asked why such a high price for the league, my source told me that "the league played hardball pointing out the cost of buying all the video tapes and blank DVD discs over the years. Lucas offered $40 but the league stuck to its guns about the extra 5 cents."
MIKE TV is the leading producer of slotcar videos and it comes as no surprise that Lucas would be interested in using his touch for special effects to make the broadcasts even more spectacular than they are.
"If Lucus has indeed bought our videos that is an exciting thing," commented long time driver Everet Kamikawa. "He made Greedo shoot first in the second version of Star Wars. I'll be lobbying him to make me finish first in all the races I didn't win!"
Current Indyslotcar Commissioner Mike Kristof, former commissioner Phil Cianciola, and Lucas had no comment on the matter when we didn't try to reach them, however other characters associated with the league and broadcasts were happy to comment on the proposed takeover:
"Happy was I. Thought never work with Lucas again did I," said frequent race commentator Yoda.
"As a professor of science...who ha...I'm always interested in seeing how he makes the cars go into hyperspace. None of the tracks have long enough straight aways to do that," stated broadcast technical analyst Professor Rex Karz. "Who needs wheel guards when we will have deflector shields to prevent cars from crashing into each other and to things. Cars can go into walls...yes...and not be hurt!"
"I don't appear on the broadcast much anymore," said former broadcaster Everet Bell. "But I'd be interested if he overdubs my parts with James Earl Jones."
"He'll be able to digitize my can of Bud into any beer or drink on future broadcasts," said Harry Carey, a newcomer to the race broadcasts.
"I wonder if all of us on the podium will appear in the broadcasts with a blueish green glow around us," mused Kamikawa. "Instead of sponsors we'll all have Red Squadron logos on our helmets. Just as long as he doesn't make all the bad guys in the history of the league turn out to be good guys like he did with Vader. I mean, why kill the goose that laid the golden egg?"
My source confirmed that Lucas does not have plans to make prequels to the league races that began in 1993.
"What would he do? Make movies about Everet playing with Hot Wheels in his sandbox? Lucas isn't interested in making movies about things existing before 1993 Shrine Cup."
"Maybe in the new digital versions Lucas can color our hair back to more youthful shades and trim some pounds off of us," Kamikawa quipped.
One fan I talked to, Mike Faruta, summed up his hopes when he said:
"Maybe Kitty Bo Peep and Amy will get a bunch of hot sisters added to the broadcasts as racers. Maybe a few shower scenes of them?"
If Lucas can create Jar Jar Binks, why not make Mike's comment turn true. IT would cause Lucas less controversy than Jar Jar Binks, unless the newly created girls talk like Jar Jar.
Until Next Time...
It's not bad being In The Pits
Steve "the wrench" Ratchett
